19 8 / 2014

xpw:

so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums. 

(via iguanamouth)

19 8 / 2014

19 8 / 2014

theroyalwitch:

modernmjolnirmonthly:

jaimejustelaphoto:

Red Velvet Ice Cream

That is the most evil looking ice cream I’ve ever seen.

I must have it.

theroyalwitch:

modernmjolnirmonthly:

jaimejustelaphoto:

Red Velvet Ice Cream

That is the most evil looking ice cream I’ve ever seen.

I must have it.

(Source: jaimejustelaphoto, via thatsakitkat)

19 8 / 2014

boygeorgemichaelbluth:

thatfunnyblog:

You know what’s creepy about Humpty Dumpty?

They never said he was an egg.

image

(Source: twerkingtargaryens, via orangepopsicleish)

19 8 / 2014

19 8 / 2014

basementdemo:

my mom told me to put the dog to bed but didn’t specify which bed 

(via andrysb24)

19 8 / 2014

nintendofunclub:

c0caino:

Take your age and add 5 to it. That is your age in 5 years.

image

(via fem-punk)

19 8 / 2014

sagapobelleza:

<3 <3 <3

sagapobelleza:

<3 <3 <3

(Source: lolfactory, via deathbycoldopen)

19 8 / 2014

true as fuck zodiac

  • 1: lovable but still a lil bitch
  • 2: p cute but probably sacrifices hamsters to satan in their free time
  • 3: crayola as fuck
  • 4: rude as hell and not to be trusted with shit
  • 5: cutest ever
  • 6: really deep and doesn't take any shit
  • 7: weird as hell omg
  • 8: probably satan
  • 9: cute and very sweet
  • 10: to be avoided bc they're like taurus but they probs talk about their hamster sacrifices
  • 11: charming but hella strange once you know them
  • 12: even more crayola than gemini

19 8 / 2014

bekstek:

i would die

bekstek:

i would die

(via gillfeesh)